Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Narcissists. Understanding the complexity of dealing with these Entities. How to break free from it, and heal yourself, after experiencing a relationship with them. A MUST to read for women and men affected by this phenomenon.
First let me start by saying that if you had the misfortune of getting involved with one of them, or are presently, you have my most sincere condolences and I do wish for you to find the strength to not only break away free from them, but heal from the devastating after mark left in dealing with this type of entities. Noted that I don’t call them people, but entities. For that is exactly what they are, evil entities, real life vampires, for they are not normal people like you and I. No, these people have no consciousness, no real emotions, or feelings. They lack empathy for others; they find tremendous joy in hurting, using and abusing others, for their very own selfish reason. They are pathological liars, think they are above and better than anyone else. They are completely self-centered, egocentric to extremes and have an aura of self-imposed omnipotence. I used to think that they lack the ability to distinguish from right or wrong, since they have no consciousness. But no, they distinguish very well; the problem is that they find pleasure by harming and destroying others. Using them and abusing them, until they have gotten from them everything they wanted, or they get tired and move onto the next victim.
I personally, have also the misfortune to madly fall in love with one. To say that I when through a nightmare, will be a understatement! For anyone who has deal with these types of inhumane beings, knows it’s nothing like you have ever experienced before. If you don’t know how to break free from them, the devastating after mark of the experience can leave you wounded not for days, or weeks or months or years but a lifetime. That’s how poisonous and toxic they are to you. Furthermore, they will keep you in their loop (if you left them) just for the joy of it and the sick pleasure they get from having control and a feeling of domination over their victims or targets. Reason why it’s imperative to understand how these entities function, think and behave. This will be the ONLY way, for you to stop living in a continued state of mental confusion and break free from their influence over you. For it’s impossible to move on by trying to understand them. You MUST understand how they function as the sick evil beings they are in general, so you can see things from a different angle, from a different point of view. That will be the only way you will be able to put your emotions aside, and “stop trying” to understand what it’s impossible to assimilate and comprehend for a normal healthy human being.
Myself personally expend over a year and a half, in a total state of confusion “trying to understand” not only his behavior or why he did the things he did, but in a total state of emotional devastation. To the point I almost lost my mental sanity and my physical health. Until one day, by the grace of GOD a woman who saw one of my painful post on my FB page, suddenly contacted me saying that she really knew what I was going through and wanted to help me. She was a counselor specializing in these kind of entities and working with women in relationship with them, or trying to break away free from them. She also explained to me what I’m trying to make you understand now, that unless you understand the complexity of their personality and how they function, I’ll never be able to “understand” what just happened to me, and heal myself from all the pain and confusion I was experiencing. Yes, that’s right. Understanding what the heck did just happened? Because it’s like you just got hit by a tsunami and left in complete state of devastation, broken in pieces. That, if you survive as many people has committed suicide as a consequence of dealing with these sick evil forces. Yes, it’s that serious and dramatic. Worst than the most fantastic and crazy stories you can watch on ANY soap opera or psycho movies on Lifetime network TV.
I have experienced like provably any other woman in this world, bad relationships. I meet losers, felt drawn to the “bad boy” type, been cheated on. Normal things we all go through, and pay attention to what I just said here. NORMAL things we all go through, not acceptable, or that brings gratification, or are even welcomed, but just normal. However being in a relationship with a psychopath, sociopath or narcissist, is like nothing you had experienced before or never will; and I pray to GOD you never have to!
That is why once you are trapped in their sick web of deception and manipulation, it’s so easy to feel like you are loosing your mind and going completely insane. Let me say it again, being in a relationship with one of these entities is like nothing you have experienced before. No matter how happy, cheerful, confident, secure in yourself, independent, financially secure, open minded, understanding, not jealous, possessive or controlling. Free spirited or passionate you are, the psychopath narcissist individual you have the misfortune to fall for, will rip you off from the inside out, and make you feel like you have no an idea who you are any longer. They are master on mental and emotional manipulation, distortion of things, and take you on an emotional roller coaster of your life!
In the little bio I wrote on my website Crystal Healing For Women, I describe a bit the nightmare I when through during my relationship which whom I consider to be The master of masters, The most vicious psychopath narcissist type. I expend a year and a half in a completely disturbing and dysfunctional relationship. Until three things happened, that catapulted me to run away from that relationship before it was too late.
1- Was the fact that during my relationship with him not only I almost loose my mental sanity, I also lose a lot of money, and I got physically sick, as I found out I had Breast cancer. My emotions and mental state of confusion and depression were not helping at all and I was getting sicker and sicker by the day. I’m the mother of a wonderful son, and I needed to make sure my son would have a healthy mother to take care of him. But honestly I was so broken at all levels that I didn’t know how to even begin to put myself together or escape from his toxic influence over me. Here is where the other 2 things happened and all I can do is to thank the almighty GOD for it.
2- After posting a comment on my FB page, a woman I didn’t know contacted me via FB. The woman I mentioned before. A woman who said she was a counselor specializing in working with this type of entities and women dealing with them, and that she knew exactly how I was feeling, and wanted to help me. She is the one who helped me understand “who I was really dealing with” for this is not your typical bad guy, or cheater boyfriend, or immature jackass partner. NO, this is a psychopath narcissist and you must learn what you are against to.
3- By Divine Grace, I was introduced to the world of Crystals and Ancient Stones, and I cannot begin to tell you how much these powerful healing beings incredibly helped me and continue doing so.
The more I studied and learned about what a psychopath and a narcissist where, the more things started to make sense to me. Also working with crystals helped me to alleviate the mental state of confusion I was living in my head. Furthermore, they gave me the strengh to finally leave him and stop putting up with such a dysfunctional toxic relationship. They helped me to be more focused, stop thinking about him 24/7 and to be more logical and rational in my thinking. Working with Citrine was truly a miracle as I felt as if every time his toxic memories or thoughts of him will come to my mind, they will get magically blocked and pushed away, allowing me to be more focused and able to concentrate in other things, besides HIM. Once I was able to do this, I really used a lot of my time studying everything I could and felt in my hands about psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists. The more I learned, the more things started to make sense to me. Furthermore I started to read the stories of hundreds of women and men sharing their stories, and also readying the studies and books or professionals in the filed on this subject. Once thing I realized and now I think is funny when I think about it, I remember telling myself, “wait a second” I’m NOT crazy or imagining all these things or been dramatic, or exaggerating things, or insane! For every story I read the common factor was that every single person having been in a relationship with one of these sick and evil entities, had pretty much the exact same experiences, feeling and emotions!
The moment that I finally realized it was NOT ME, or my fault, or my "insecurities" as they try to make you believe, the day I started to recover from the tremendous erosion suffered mental/emotional/spiritual/physical as a result of having been in a relationship with a psychopath narcissist, a real life vampire. For the charming prince really was a harming prince!
Then one day, my best friend from Spain which whom I haven’t talk in really long time contacted me in such distress. Telling me she needed to talk to me, that she was devastated in a complete state of confusion and super depressed. That she broke with her boyfriend, but he will not leave her alone, directly or indirectly making her life a living hell. Then she suddenly said the magic word. She said, do you know or have hear about the word psychopath? Say what? DO I KNOW? My gosh the entire hair on my arms raised up and an electric sensation like shock, rushed all over my entire body? DO I KNOW ABOUT WHAT A PSYCHOPATH IS??? OMG this is not happening, I said to myself. Now that I finally got my life back, my health back, my mind and sanity back, this is coming to me to make me revive everything? But this was my very best friend, and I saw how perturbed, confused and lost she was. It also helped me realize how far I had come, and that now I was in a position to help not only her but also other women.
Once thing that I noticed is how disturbing to my spirit was to listen to her no matter how much I wanted to. For when you are deep into that toxic shit, you are unable to think clearly, or straight, or logically, or even rationally. For you are trying to make sense to what it does not make sense or can be comprehended by a normal human being with normal healthy emotions and feelings. She will repeat things over and over again, no matter how much I tried to explain things to her.
She will say: - But he is really catholic and religious person! But he is the “perfect person” on the outside for everyone else to see! He is so charming, and charismatic, and super friendly, articulate, intelligent, and funny! This also will remind me what I had hear many other women said. “But he always gives money and participate in charity events” “but he supported a children’s hospital and always was loving and caring with the children” “ But …… Yeah yeah yeah, have you ever hear that common saying that says –“ A wolf in a sheep suit”? or familiar with the term “ Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? LOL Yup! quite familiar with that too. Mine, he was the purest of the Christians, or so he pride himself of, and went to church not once but three days every week! He was the most charming, and charismatic man I had ever meet. To the public eye? he was such a respected highly admired individual. Yes, I sure know what are you talking about, I said to her.
She will say: but if he doesn’t care or want to be with me, why doing these things that looks like trying to make me jealous? Yeah, I know I will say. The typical – “ Triangulation strategy” they so masterfully play upon us. Mine? He was in a relationship with “his official” woman and the mother of one of his children, for 10 years and counting!. He managed to put both of us against each other and be jealous and in rivalry with each other. He also completely convinced me that she was a psycho controlling witch, in denial that they were over and only their child, and financial/business ties, kept them together. He also had a "psycho" ex girlfriend, that always ended popping up in present conversations or sudden sexually explicit text (created by him) she will send. And at least three other women, “ harassing” him” that became constant in his/our life together, conveniently every time he wanted. One of this poor women (which one day I confronted her talking over the phone) was still made believe she was in a relationship with him. She was living in another state, and she was been lingering into this deceptive "romantic relationship" with him for the past 4 years! And she believed every single thing he will tell her!. I remember asking him, - " but if it's over between you two, or better yet if you never had anything with this woman, as you want me to believe, and she is just a psycho and a stalker, why you keep entretaining her? reading her texts and answering them, picking up the phone and talking to her? Ohhhh poor thing, of course it was not his fault, he was the victim as they were all those "psycho stalker women" that didn't leave him alone and wanted him! Yes, I’m very familiar with that too. The manufacturing of ex psychos girlfriends in his life, other women desiring him, the “triangulation” strategy. Yup, very familiar with that. I also used to hate "his official woman" for all the nasty things she said to me and how much she tried to hurt me. Not anymore, for I feel really sorry for her. I ended understanding that she is a narcissist supplier and she doesn't even know that. After 10 years living together and with a child in common, she is so damaged and wounded, she is deeply lost in his sick web of deception that she find ways to "excuse" his wrongful behavior and put up with him and everything he does to her. She knows he cheat on her and there are many other women, and still choose to stay in that toxic and damaging relationship. So I don't hate her at all, I just feel sorry for her and hope and pray one day she finds the help she so desperatly needs and can get out of it, finding herself again.
She will say: oh and when I seem to start to feel a little better, then these “casualties” happens that have nothing to do with him but suddenly in a way brings his memories or him back to my mind and life. Yeah, I know that too, I will say. It has nothing to do with “causalities” there are no casualties when it have to do with them. Everything is premeditated, carefully planned on their part. There is no such a thing as casualties when it comes to them. You hear me? NO casualties get this.
She will say: - “ But sex was so good!” the best sex and intimacy I have ever had in my life! How can you have such an amazing incredible sex with someone and not be love? Yup! I will respond back, I also know what you are talking about. I was completely addicted to him sexually. Oh, do I know what you are talking about here, girl. Telling you how much he loves you, that you are different than any other, special, his true soul mate, when he is with you. Right after he leaves your presence, he is back to his double life, while doing the same to other women at the same time. Look, there is NOTHING they say you can believe, nothing! For they will say anything to make you believe what they want you to believe, and keep you in the loop, for as long as they want or they getting something from you. Not to mention the sick pleasure they get with doing what they want and the satisfaction of getting away with everything. Mind games does not even come close to what they really do.
She will say: And what about his irrational behavior! he will suddenly dissapear from my life, no contact at all leaving me here wondering, going crazy in my head. Then re appear, like nothing happened all charming, and caring and loving, promising me things and apologizing for "hurting me". Once again, I will say way too familiar to me as well. I still remember the time where I finally contacted her "official woman" to ask her directly if they were together in a romantic relationship or not because I was sick and tired of his mind games with me. He got really mad, blamed me for creating a "hamock" in his life and dissapeared for an entire weekend, without me knowing where he was or heard a word from him! Ignoring my texts, my phone calls. Then, that same Saturday morning SHE contacted me to let me know he has taken them (mother and daughter) to a trip to Orlando, and if he didn't love her or was not in a romantic relationship with her, why he will do that uh? LOL Once again plaing the "triangulation game" with both of us, plus giving me the silence treatment for "behaving bad and contacting her". Followed by he showing up days later with his so convincing stories and lies, becoming Mr. charm prince once again, promising things, apologizing for his behavior, making me fall for it like an idiot and applying the "honeymoon period" that of course never lasted more than a few weeks until he will start acting completely irrational in his behavior. Games girl, nothing but mind games and the sick pleasure they get for getting away with everything. While making sure they keep you in the loop and available to them any time they want.
She will say: and now, he just simply has left me, completely forget about me like I never existed, like what we had never meant anything to him. How can he do this? How can he treat me like this? Which did bring me to explain the D&D strategy, "Devaluation & Discard". First they devaluate you, trying to make you feel that everything is your fault that things are not working because of you and your "irrational" behavior. YOUR irrational behavior not theirs! And then they discard you like if they will just through a piece of worthless paper to the trash. For once you are of no value to them, or they can't fool you any longer, you start questioning their bullshit, or simply they have found their new target, they will discard you like you never existed. But many times, this is only temporarily for they will always come back or show up when you less expect it! There are many reasons for them to do this, but none of them is because they really "miss you as they say" "love you" or are your "friends" and care about you. Please understand this very clear, they are NOT your friends, they are really your worst enemy. They don't miss you or love you or care for you and never did! It’s just a sick mind game they masterfully play with you and provably many others at the same time. The more you read and study about these type of dysfunctional personalities, the more you will understand why they do things as they do. For them, it's just a game and you are just one of their toys. For myself thanks God, I had already started to work with this woman I mentioned above, and read quite a bit about psychopath narcissistic personality. So when the D&D started to happen, I was pretty much mentally close to be ready for it. I'm the one who broke with him because I was completely sick and tired of his lies, his sick mental games and irrational behavior of words vr actions. I started to stop to idolatrize him, show my "adoration" for him and gift him with compliments. Instead, I will questions his integrity, his persona and for the very first time I refused to have sex with him and didn't fall for his "charm" or being "smitten" by him, as he will always said I was. I remember he sending me these texts saying that "he loved me" but "my insecurities" where the problem, and that if I wasn't so impulsive and inpatient, things will work out between us, because he thought "I was potentially the one" and saw his future with me. LOL Not only I didn't felt for his lies and bullshit this time, but started to realize how bat ass crazy and delusional he really was. So not only he gave me the silent treatment but he disappeared abruptly from my life. No texts, no phone calls, no emails, no showing up to my house. Neither I did any of those things either. Contrary to that, I started to heavily work and meditate with Crystals, focus on recovering my health, my mental sanity, focusing on my business and working on myself, while studying everything I could about psychopaths narcissists so not only I will know how to deal with all this, and heal myself from it. Most important get my life back! For once you understand truly who these entities are, if you have any kind of self respect, self love, self esteem and value your own self, you will want nothing to do with people like this, trust me!
Once thing I have noticed talking to women who are deep into this shity toxic trap, is that until they (we) don’t understand certain things, all they will do is continue talking and talking and repeating and repeating the same things over and over and over, in their heads and to others. Then is when I realized that there is a very special way to help these women that are being victims of their abusive oppressor, without they even knowing it. For you can’t just sit there for days and weeks to come and listen to the same things over and over and over. To have a friend that listen to us is good, is really good. But in order to help a woman or a man that is experiencing the misfortune of dealing with a psychopath narcissist, just sitting there putting a listening ear does not work. For it's only when they truly understand what and whom they are dealing with, that you can sit with them and have a more rational conversation about things. Furthermore, help them with what is most important. How to break free from their control and heal themselves and get their life back!
So if you want to free yourself from the toxicity and irreparable damage (if you don’t leave on time or know how to heal) that has been to be in a relationship with one of these toxic evil entities, this will be my absolute advice for you.
1- read everything you can about psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists. Better yet, read every single article and everything on the websites I include here below. Once you start to understand whom you are really dealing with, you are in the first step to healing, thus recovering being a possibility.
2- Learn about crystals and ancient stones and work with them! I personally will recommend you to start working especially with Citrine, Amethyst, Dioptase, malachite, Fluorite, Selenite Ajoite, Chrysocolla, rose quartz, lepidolite, tiger eye. It’s important to be able to focus your mind, see clearly, more rationally. Citrine will definitely help you in doing this besides many other healing benefits you can experience. Also you must start healing your emotional body. Recover and build your self-love and self-esteem and confidence in yourself. Rose quartz, Chrysocolla, and many other crystals related to the heart and throat chakra will help you accomplish this. In all honesty, while I was going through my own nightmare, during one of my meditations with crystals, they are the ones who told me to share my experience with other women and share them (the crystals and stones's healing properties) with others too. Reason why I created Crystal Healing For Women and the special Crystal items available there.
3- If necessary get professional help. But not from just anyone psychotherapist or counselor, but one that specialized in working primarily and has studied in depth these type of entities as is psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists. Please note many times if not all the time, all these dysfunctions are the same within these entities.
And the most important piece of advice I could give you as well, is that if you want to free yourself away from the “dysfunction of these toxic psychos” there is a number one rule you must fully understand. The NO CONTACT at all rule. I personally deleted every single text, email, message, photo and everything I had from him. Blocked him from my FB, whatsApp, phone, everything! If they call you from an unknown number? As soon as you hear their voice, hang up!! And if you by “causality” encounter them in the streets, treat them as if you do not know them, and keep moving! Not a word, a touch, nothing!! For once you open that door once again, you will be drawn like a innocent sheep into the cave of the starving wolf. No, not trying to scare you. There is absolutely anything you should fear about these deceitful, piece of shit of men, or women. But once you understand who they truly are, you will not want to do or have absolutely nothing to do with them in your life. And that sudden feeling at first, you get of loneliness or even boredom initially after removing them from your life? Is not loneliness or boredom, is that blissful and peaceful state of being you forgot it existed! If you are experiencing that once again…. Welcome back to life!! And congratulations, for you are a survivor as most will say. Or as I prefer to say, I’m not a survivor but a VICTORIOUS woman!
I truly hope this article was of some kind of help to you.
In Light, Love, and Health
Toxic Relationships, Psychopath Narcissist Article part 2
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Resources a must to read:
Articles of special importance to read:
- Dangerous Liaisons: How to Recognize and Escape from Psychopathic Seduction
- Prince Harming Syndrome by karen salmansohn